Do you show yourself compassion?
Lately, I have been doing a lot of work around healing through self-compassion.
Since I was young, I had an insatiable need to be loved and accepted. This need drove my actions resulting in things I am not proud of and have since beat myself up over.
It was only recently that I realized that the desire to look outside of myself for love and acceptance was because I was not giving that to myself. I have stored up emotions, I lash out and am often angry. I want to put an end to this.
Simple and Transforming Self compassion Tips
- Say "I love you!" Give yourself a big hug and say I love. Do this often. It may feel awkward at first, that's a good sign, that you need to hear it. Repeat at least twice a day.
- Forgive yourself. I forgive myself for putting myself and my friends in uncomfortable situations. The truth is, I was acting out of the need to be loved. I didn't love myself and I looked for it outside. I didn't act maliciously. I just need to love myself. I am enough, I am loveable and I love you.
- Show yourself grace. Step outside of yourself and look at you and your situation as if you were helping a good friend. How would you speak to her? How would you support her?
- Deep breaths. Relax, breathe in through your nose, filling your belly, for a count of 5. Hold for a count of 5, then breathe out through your mouth for a count of 5. Continue for 15 minutes. Repeat this breathing exercise 3 times a day.
- Release your emotions. Find your emotional release. Do this at least a few times a week. Sappy movies get me every time. It feels so good to get this out.
- Listen to a self-compassion meditation daily.
- Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat self-love affirmations daily.
- Read books by Louise Hay and Marisa Peer.
Of course I still have work to do, but I can already see an improvement. I don't get as choked up when talking about myself. I can catch myself before I get snippy. This is a great opportunity for me to walk away and take a few deep breaths. I'm building self-confidence and am believing in myself and my abilities more and more.